You may have noticed the blog has gone quiet. Sadly enough, Ben and I haven't really seen each other enough lately to have any real disagreements. We're getting dinner together on Thursday so something may come of that. In the meantime here's some exchanges that show that we can team up from time to time.
Hugel: I never told you Ive become friends through Twitter with one of the leads in the web series L33t.
Ben: which one? the one who actually said "pwned"? invite him to MZ on thursday
Hugel: Theres a healthcare debate in my building right now. Cantor is here. You shoulda come down. You coulda heckled, and then we coulda had Edos.
Ben: i was on a plane. oh well, i dont heckle jews anyway.
Hugel: Are you familiar with Positive Vibe cafe? Its staffed by disabled people (mentally and physically). They have a program where they bring in guest chefs for a night. Who do you think would be the worst person to be ordering them around??? @PositiveVibecafe : Guest Chef Series Resumes this Sunday, September 20, 2009 featuring Ed Vasaio of Mamma Zu..
Ben: yeah i remember that place. thats awesome. you realize that you have to go to this.
Hugel: "Hey, retard, you burnt the cheesy bread"
Ben: hahahahahaha. that is so awful yet i cant stop laughing.
9.22.2009
4.06.2009
The Earl of Hugel
Sometimes I wonder if I'm too tough on Hugel. If I don't really give him a fair shake. Maybe his multitude of problems aren't really his problems, they're my problems and point to some sort of deep-rooted insecurity which causes me to overreact and lash out at him.
But then I'm validated by the scorn of others for Hugel, and I realize that it really is him who is flawed. Check it out here.
A little background: the comment is in reference to a similar shot taken by the commenter, on which Hugel left a comment claiming to have the superior photo. The commenter, noting the contempt for the English language that Hugel displays at all times, as well as in the title of his own photo, proceeded to destroy him with her own comment.
Apparently his spelling of the word sandwich - a word which I am pretty sure I knew how to spell right around the first time I ever ate one - is not limited to just this case. See here.
Only in the world of Hugel could you search his photo library for the word "sandwhich" and find TWO occurrences.
But then I'm validated by the scorn of others for Hugel, and I realize that it really is him who is flawed. Check it out here.
A little background: the comment is in reference to a similar shot taken by the commenter, on which Hugel left a comment claiming to have the superior photo. The commenter, noting the contempt for the English language that Hugel displays at all times, as well as in the title of his own photo, proceeded to destroy him with her own comment.
Apparently his spelling of the word sandwich - a word which I am pretty sure I knew how to spell right around the first time I ever ate one - is not limited to just this case. See here.
Only in the world of Hugel could you search his photo library for the word "sandwhich" and find TWO occurrences.
3.25.2009
Hugel's Blog
Q: When is a blog not really a blog but just a series of YouTube clips that the author thinks are humorous?
A: When it's Hugel's blog.
Q: So couldn't Hugel have saved himself the hosting fees, and just started a YouTube channel for free?
A: Yes.
A: When it's Hugel's blog.
Q: So couldn't Hugel have saved himself the hosting fees, and just started a YouTube channel for free?
A: Yes.
2.27.2009
More Typical Hugel
Sorry (to our one reader) that it has been awhile since the last post. I feel like I'm doing all the heavy lifting here, having written every single post to occur in the last year. Hugel must be busy over at his personal blog, "Distractions" (if there was ever a word to describe Hugel, it truly is distracted).
Speaking of personal writing, I'm going to post about Hugel's screenplay. Yes, Hugel wrote a screenplay. Yes, I have read it. And yes, it is surprisingly entertaining, and much better than I thought it would be (such a low bar though, really!). But I'm not here to post a critical analysis of his work, I would rather focus on another aspect of his writing. Before receiving said screenplay, many people would have wondered if the writing was good, and if the characters were well developed, and if there was a clear beginning, middle, climax, and end. But not me. You see, knowing Hugel, I was more curious to see how many spelling mistakes there would be, how bad they would be, and how long it would be until I encountered one (for a primer on Hugel's atrocious spelling, just read any of his posts on this blog). Well it turns out, it didn't take very long for me to come across the first mistake. In fact I didn't have to start reading the screenplay at all: there was a misspelling in the filename. His screenplay which I'm pretty sure is titled "STARSTRUCK", was according to the filename, called "STARSTUCK", which sounds like a bad sci-fi novel. I proceeded to open the file and was then presented with the title page, and the true name of his screenplay, "STARSTRUCL." OK. At this point, I don't even know the name of what I'm reading. Before receiving it, I thought he had told me the title was "STARSTRUCK" but at no point anywhere in what he provided me did I see that word. The icing on the cake: two lines below this Hugel had spelled his own name incorrectly as "JONH D. HUGEL."
To recap, I haven't even made it to page one, and there are already three spelling mistakes. This is a spelling failure rate of 100% as far as I'm concerned. But this of course is nothing new for Hugel.
Speaking of personal writing, I'm going to post about Hugel's screenplay. Yes, Hugel wrote a screenplay. Yes, I have read it. And yes, it is surprisingly entertaining, and much better than I thought it would be (such a low bar though, really!). But I'm not here to post a critical analysis of his work, I would rather focus on another aspect of his writing. Before receiving said screenplay, many people would have wondered if the writing was good, and if the characters were well developed, and if there was a clear beginning, middle, climax, and end. But not me. You see, knowing Hugel, I was more curious to see how many spelling mistakes there would be, how bad they would be, and how long it would be until I encountered one (for a primer on Hugel's atrocious spelling, just read any of his posts on this blog). Well it turns out, it didn't take very long for me to come across the first mistake. In fact I didn't have to start reading the screenplay at all: there was a misspelling in the filename. His screenplay which I'm pretty sure is titled "STARSTRUCK", was according to the filename, called "STARSTUCK", which sounds like a bad sci-fi novel. I proceeded to open the file and was then presented with the title page, and the true name of his screenplay, "STARSTRUCL." OK. At this point, I don't even know the name of what I'm reading. Before receiving it, I thought he had told me the title was "STARSTRUCK" but at no point anywhere in what he provided me did I see that word. The icing on the cake: two lines below this Hugel had spelled his own name incorrectly as "JONH D. HUGEL."
To recap, I haven't even made it to page one, and there are already three spelling mistakes. This is a spelling failure rate of 100% as far as I'm concerned. But this of course is nothing new for Hugel.
1.04.2009
Typical Hugel
I was just thinking about how one of the last times I went to visit Richmond, Hugel kept insisting that we go to get brunch at Comfort. He talked about it incessantly, so being a nice guy, I said sure. I even invited several other people to meet us there. Of course when we arrived, we discovered that Comfort doesn't do brunch.
Typical Hugel.
Typical Hugel.
2.22.2008
How the tables have turned
As a refresher because it's been a while, Ben has always accused me of breaking everything I ever touch. I think maybe once I borrowed a cd of his and the case got scratched or something, but he has applied this stigma to everything in my life since. Whether my roof developed a leak, or my iPod temporarily stopped, of my computer operating system became corrupted, it was all because I broke everything.
Ben however must have inherited my curse. When he called me around Christmas and asked me to fix his iPod which had recently begun displaying the same symptoms as mine I let him off easy, mainly due to the holiday season. However, after calling me last night and asking me if my Powerbook DVD player has suddenly stopped working (it hadn't before then) and then having him proceed to have me follow directions that result in mine becoming nonfunctional as well, he has truly crossed the line.
Ben however must have inherited my curse. When he called me around Christmas and asked me to fix his iPod which had recently begun displaying the same symptoms as mine I let him off easy, mainly due to the holiday season. However, after calling me last night and asking me if my Powerbook DVD player has suddenly stopped working (it hadn't before then) and then having him proceed to have me follow directions that result in mine becoming nonfunctional as well, he has truly crossed the line.
11.13.2006
The Two Lives Of Ben Kohler
The Ben Kohler that I know and love is the cooler than though type. Whenever something becomes too popular he abandons it and pretends to never liked it; This applies to music, movies, tv shows, etc. It doesn't really apply to Politics or Restaurants, yet.
Anyway, I've heard Bens thoughts on clubs and bars in Richmond, and to the best of my knowledge he was very anti the popular Richmond spots, such as Godfreys, Mars Bar, and more recently The New York Deli. He once told me "That place sucks" when I invited him to the New York Deli.
Needless to say I was pretty surprised when I discovered the article below this, a feature in Richmond Magazine on Carytown hot spots, which seems to show another side to the Ben Kohler many of us didn't know existed. So maybe this shows that somewhere buried deep inside Ben Kohler there is another side of him who still listens to The Strokes and Interpol and still refuses to pick people up on Thursdays because The OC is on.
Anyway, I've heard Bens thoughts on clubs and bars in Richmond, and to the best of my knowledge he was very anti the popular Richmond spots, such as Godfreys, Mars Bar, and more recently The New York Deli. He once told me "That place sucks" when I invited him to the New York Deli.
Needless to say I was pretty surprised when I discovered the article below this, a feature in Richmond Magazine on Carytown hot spots, which seems to show another side to the Ben Kohler many of us didn't know existed. So maybe this shows that somewhere buried deep inside Ben Kohler there is another side of him who still listens to The Strokes and Interpol and still refuses to pick people up on Thursdays because The OC is on.
10.31.2006
Slow day
On slow days Ben likes to accuse me of having fictional arguments with him. He accused me today of arguing about whether they would ever make a Bruno movie as a follow-up to the Borat movie. Apparently he didn't believe me when I said "I don't know what you're talking about" so he pushed the issue, insisting that we had this discussion, and today's news that a Bruno movie had been greenlit proved him right.
Although I convinced him it was not me, I am surprised that he didn't make a Blog post about it already.
Although I convinced him it was not me, I am surprised that he didn't make a Blog post about it already.
10.30.2006
Miscellaneous
(1) At Angie's wedding, I found out that Hugel had made fun of me beforehand, assuming I would be improperly dressed for the formal affair. I, of course, was wearing a suit and tie. Hugel had jeans.
(2) Hugel called me at 7 AM last week. When I called him back about 15 minutes later. he couldn't remember why he called. This is what I am dealing with here.
(3) Hugel thinks Borat is real.
(2) Hugel called me at 7 AM last week. When I called him back about 15 minutes later. he couldn't remember why he called. This is what I am dealing with here.
(3) Hugel thinks Borat is real.
Hugel Goes Green
Hugel decided to start riding the bus to work, to cut down on some of the harmful emissions from his car. Unfortunately for the environment, he soon after decided not to actually ride the bus,but just make his friends drive him around, pleading with them to "come on man, just give me a ride." So, is this a case of Hugel really "going green", or just a pathetic attempt to milk rides off his friends...you decide.
I've made my decision.
I've made my decision.
10.26.2006
From The Archives: Laptop Argument
This post comes to us via the handy feature of Chat Archive, courtesy of Trillian Instant Messanger. It shows a classic Ben VS Hugel argument. This follows months of being mocked for taking my laptop on vacation to Washington, Hawaii and California.
[11:03] BEN: you called?
[11:03] HUGEL: where are you?
[11:03] BEN: cape cod
[11:03] HUGEL: oh already? cool
[11:04] BEN: yeah
[11:04] HUGEL: so you arent near a computer?
[11:04] BEN: is that a joke?
[11:04] HUGEL: No
[11:04] BEN: how am i typing to you now
[11:04] HUGEL: Your phone
[11:04] HUGEL: I dunno
[11:04] BEN: im on my laptop
[11:04] BEN: theres wifi at the house
[11:04] HUGEL: so wait...
[11:04] BEN: im sitting outside on the lake, while writing this
[11:04] HUGEL: you brought your LAPTOP on VACATION?
[11:05] BEN: this isnt hawaii
[11:05] BEN: this is relaxation, pure and simple
[11:05] HUGEL: you gave me shit for CA and WA
11:35] BEN: ok, i feel weird talking to you on my vacation
[11:35] BEN: im outta here
[11:35] HUGEL: later
[11:03] BEN: you called?
[11:03] HUGEL: where are you?
[11:03] BEN: cape cod
[11:03] HUGEL: oh already? cool
[11:04] BEN: yeah
[11:04] HUGEL: so you arent near a computer?
[11:04] BEN: is that a joke?
[11:04] HUGEL: No
[11:04] BEN: how am i typing to you now
[11:04] HUGEL: Your phone
[11:04] HUGEL: I dunno
[11:04] BEN: im on my laptop
[11:04] BEN: theres wifi at the house
[11:04] HUGEL: so wait...
[11:04] BEN: im sitting outside on the lake, while writing this
[11:04] HUGEL: you brought your LAPTOP on VACATION?
[11:05] BEN: this isnt hawaii
[11:05] BEN: this is relaxation, pure and simple
[11:05] HUGEL: you gave me shit for CA and WA
11:35] BEN: ok, i feel weird talking to you on my vacation
[11:35] BEN: im outta here
[11:35] HUGEL: later
10.25.2006
Typical Morning Voicemail
When I arrived at work this morning, I had a voicemail waiting for me: 30 seconds of the unmistakable sound of someone chewing ice. That was it.
One guess as to who it was.
One guess as to who it was.
10.24.2006
Hugels 5-Day "4-Day" Workweek
Lets face it, Hugel has a limited understanding of the way the real world works. For example, Hugel thinks that his vacation time at work (and by work I mean surfing Myspace) is measured in 'Days', and not 'Hours'. Everyone who has ever worked for a company that offers vacation time knows that vacation is measured in 'Hours', but not Hugel. So, when you or I say "I'm gonna leave work 3 hours early, and I'll use Vacation time for those hours," Hugel thinks, "Oh, they are going to take 3/8 of a day of Vacation time."
Theres a point to all this.
Recently Hugel was offered a chance to begin working 4 ten-hour shifts (T-F) instead of his normal 5 eight-hour shifts (M-F), at his illustrious job of YouTube surfing at Media General. Preferring the 4-day schedule, he took the offer. He then assumed that his x amount of vacation days under the old schedule (eight-hour days), transferred to x amount of vacation days under the new schedule (ten-hour days), and that his vacation time had just magically increased by 20%. Long story short, Hugel ended up inadvertently decimating his vacation hours in no time, and is now forced to work on his day off.
Theres a point to all this.
Recently Hugel was offered a chance to begin working 4 ten-hour shifts (T-F) instead of his normal 5 eight-hour shifts (M-F), at his illustrious job of YouTube surfing at Media General. Preferring the 4-day schedule, he took the offer. He then assumed that his x amount of vacation days under the old schedule (eight-hour days), transferred to x amount of vacation days under the new schedule (ten-hour days), and that his vacation time had just magically increased by 20%. Long story short, Hugel ended up inadvertently decimating his vacation hours in no time, and is now forced to work on his day off.
The Prestige Debacle WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILER CONTENT!!!
In order to appease Ben and those like him I will include the following warning:
WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILER CONTENT - The Prestige!!!
For those who take things literally all the time, and can't think for yourself... Do not read this post.
For those who always tried to guess what their Christmas presents were ahead of time, and then were disappointed when Christmas came and they already knew everything they were getting... Do not read this post.
For those who simply want to argue about something trivial... Do not read this post
Finally, for those who have not seen The Prestige (I do recommend it), and are thinking about seeing it, and think that seeing the trailer, reading a review, or the words contained here may give something away... Do not read this post.
Now, I will review what occurred on Saturday October 19th, which began our latest debate.
My girlfriend and I were out shopping and decided to see Christopher Nolans new movie, The Prestige. I had been anticipating this movie for months. It appeared to be the better of the two recent magician movies, featured a stellar cast (Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Michael Caine, in addition to Scarlett Johnansson), and having been directed by Christopher Nolan, I imagined there would be some interesting dark elements to the story.
I was very pleased with how Batman Begins turned out, but really went into the movie wondering if it would be on par with Memento or more like Insomnia, which bored me to death. Anyway, we left The Prestige pleased with our decision to spend two and a half hours of our Saturday sitting in a theater packed with strangers. I felt the movie was entertaining and was everything I hoped it would be.
Having discussed some of its finer points with my girlfriend, I decided to call my friend Ben, who I knew had not seen the movie, but was interested in seeing it. All of my friends seem to have a penchant for picking obscure actors to watch for in movies, whether it be Miguel Ferrer, Luis Guzman, John C Reilly, or formerly Phillip Seymour Hoffman. For Ben and Dave, this actor is Ricky Jay. Ricky Jay appears in The Prestige, and I called Ben to tell him to watch out for him, and that he should definitely see the movie. The actual conversation went like this:
Me: Waaazzzuuuppppp?
Ben: Hey, Im going to the Prestige. I called to invite you, but you didn't answer.
Me: I saw that. I was watching it at that moment.
Ben: Oh cool, how was it?
Me: It was pretty good. Hey, can I tell you something about it? Don't worry its not going to ruin the ending?
Ben: What?
Me: That actor you like is in it. The one from Boogie Nights, Magnolia, and heartbreakers.
Ben: Ricky Jay! I know, we looked up the cast when we saw the trailer.
Me: Sweet. Well, have fun.
Ben: Peace.
At 11:30 PM I received a call from Ben informing me that we would never discuss movies or anything ever again. Apparently in the above conversation I had conveyed the plot of the film, which caused it to be ruined upon watching it. To me it looks like I may have confirmed two things:
1) That the movie had a plot
2) That the movie had an ending.
Me? I would have assumed both things going into the movie, but I guess confirming them to Ben was enough for him to search for every clue upon watching the film, and cause it to be ruined.
WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILER CONTENT - The Prestige!!!
For those who take things literally all the time, and can't think for yourself... Do not read this post.
For those who always tried to guess what their Christmas presents were ahead of time, and then were disappointed when Christmas came and they already knew everything they were getting... Do not read this post.
For those who simply want to argue about something trivial... Do not read this post
Finally, for those who have not seen The Prestige (I do recommend it), and are thinking about seeing it, and think that seeing the trailer, reading a review, or the words contained here may give something away... Do not read this post.
Now, I will review what occurred on Saturday October 19th, which began our latest debate.
My girlfriend and I were out shopping and decided to see Christopher Nolans new movie, The Prestige. I had been anticipating this movie for months. It appeared to be the better of the two recent magician movies, featured a stellar cast (Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Michael Caine, in addition to Scarlett Johnansson), and having been directed by Christopher Nolan, I imagined there would be some interesting dark elements to the story.
I was very pleased with how Batman Begins turned out, but really went into the movie wondering if it would be on par with Memento or more like Insomnia, which bored me to death. Anyway, we left The Prestige pleased with our decision to spend two and a half hours of our Saturday sitting in a theater packed with strangers. I felt the movie was entertaining and was everything I hoped it would be.
Having discussed some of its finer points with my girlfriend, I decided to call my friend Ben, who I knew had not seen the movie, but was interested in seeing it. All of my friends seem to have a penchant for picking obscure actors to watch for in movies, whether it be Miguel Ferrer, Luis Guzman, John C Reilly, or formerly Phillip Seymour Hoffman. For Ben and Dave, this actor is Ricky Jay. Ricky Jay appears in The Prestige, and I called Ben to tell him to watch out for him, and that he should definitely see the movie. The actual conversation went like this:
Me: Waaazzzuuuppppp?
Ben: Hey, Im going to the Prestige. I called to invite you, but you didn't answer.
Me: I saw that. I was watching it at that moment.
Ben: Oh cool, how was it?
Me: It was pretty good. Hey, can I tell you something about it? Don't worry its not going to ruin the ending?
Ben: What?
Me: That actor you like is in it. The one from Boogie Nights, Magnolia, and heartbreakers.
Ben: Ricky Jay! I know, we looked up the cast when we saw the trailer.
Me: Sweet. Well, have fun.
Ben: Peace.
At 11:30 PM I received a call from Ben informing me that we would never discuss movies or anything ever again. Apparently in the above conversation I had conveyed the plot of the film, which caused it to be ruined upon watching it. To me it looks like I may have confirmed two things:
1) That the movie had a plot
2) That the movie had an ending.
Me? I would have assumed both things going into the movie, but I guess confirming them to Ben was enough for him to search for every clue upon watching the film, and cause it to be ruined.
10.20.2006
Email War #1
Witness me being an asshole to Hugel, and his resulting frustration...
-Ben
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 8:19 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: Wedding
Hey
What time is angies wedding?
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 8:24 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
1 i think. check the invite.
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 8:25 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
I dont have mine
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:30 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
why?
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:32 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
I recycled it
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:33 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
how come? didnt you realize you would need the date/time?
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:38 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
I thought I put it in my calendar. Its not there.
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:39 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
get a palm
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:41 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
Does your palm tell you what time its at?
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:41 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
it sure does
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:44 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
And that is?
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:45 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
I feel like weve played this game before
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:46 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
You said I think 1. Dan says 4. So is your almight Palm... INCORRECT?
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:49 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
My palm has whatever the invitation has. Thus I think the palm has 1, just as I think the wedding is at 1..
From: jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx [mailto:jhugelxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:51 AM
To: Kohler, Benjamin D
Subject: RE: Wedding
So you dont have the palm?
From: Kohler, Benjamin D [mailto:Benjaminxxx@xxx.xxx]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 9:59 AM
To: Hugel, John D.
Subject: RE: Wedding
its at home.
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